It was like a movie. I bought an antique ceramic bottle from my local thrift store. It was meant to be a vase. Honestly, I didn’t even mean to rub it, I was just trying to wipe some dust off of the side. Three swipes later a cloud of blue smoke rose from the opening, and in a very cliché manner, a genie appeared out of the fog.
“I want 5 million dollars! I want to be famous! I want a mansion!” I blurted out, my mouth spitting out my three wishes before I had time to think.
He frowned. “What, you think this is Aladdin or something? That’s not how I work. You get one single wish.”
I pondered for a while. How could I get everything I wanted in one single wish? Suddenly, it came to me.
“Turn me into Taylor Swift!”
He scoffed, but then snapped his fingers.
I woke up wrapped in silk sheets laying on the biggest bed I’d ever seen. I looked around to see a bedroom the size of my entire apartment. Sprinting to the mirror, I gasped at my own reflection. Well I’ll be damned, I really was Taylor Swift.
I spent $200,000 in 4 hours, which of course didn’t even make a dent in my newly acquired bank account. I was chauffeured around in a Bugatti to the high end stores I’d only dreamed of visiting. I rented out Disneyland for the afternoon and rode all my favorite rides over and over.
Nighttime came around and I started feeling lonely in my unfamiliar home. I decided to sneak out to my old apartment to grab my favorite books.
I grabbed the spare key from under the mat and let myself in. Opening the door, I gasped at the sight of my old self charging at me.
“You! You did this to me!” She screamed. She grasped a kitchen knife in her hand.
“Tay..Taylor? Is that you? I.. I didn’t know. I didn’t realize you’d turn into me!”
“What is going on?! How did you do this? Why did you do this?” The face I recognized as my own glared back at me. I stared cautiously at the knife in her hand.
“It was a genie! I just wanted to be you! I didn’t know! See?” I held up the antique bottle in a weak attempt to prove myself. “Watch! Rub it!”
I watched her stroke the bottle, a wave of relief coming over me as the familiar blue smoke poured from the top. She stared at him in awe.
After a few silent moments he looked at her expectantly. “Well? What’s your wish?”
Before I could do anything, she held the knife against her neck.
“Turn me back into myself!” She blurted out, and dragged the knife across her throat.
The genie snapped. Everything turned black.
I opened my eyes, Taylor Swift stood over me. I watched my blood pool under me as she sprinted out the door.