AITAH (Reddit) for wanting to divorce my husband over kids?

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I (F29) knew from a young age I don’t ever want to have or raise children. I met my husband in college and he was decidedly childfree too. We got married a couple of years back.

My husband’s younger sister (F24) has three kids (M5, M & F 2) with different dead beat guys. Two months ago she left all of them at our house, said she was going on a errand and never came back. Just left. We filed a report and everything. Last we heard she was safe but did not want to come back.

My husband’s mom is a minimum wage worker barely scrapping by. She used to be a single mom and do not want to raise these kids.

I don’t want to raise them either. Don’t get me wrong, I feel bad for them. But raising kids is a huge responsibility I don’t want to take up. In the 2 months they were here, our expense has increased, we had to buy them clothes and stuff, and they are sleeping in our living room on air mattresses (we only have one bedroom). I had to work from home and look after them cause my husband could not get wfh and daycare for 3 is expensive. It has been really rough to say the least.

CPS did get involved and asked us whether we want to keep the kids or not. I do not. I thought my husband would be on the same page but he wants to keep the kids. CPS has asked us to decide quickly and make necessary changes (get a bigger home for one).

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My husband and I have gone back and forth on this. I cannot live the next 16 years like this. Raising kids is hard. And expensive. But he wants to be there for his family. Which I get.

So yesterday I told him I want a divorce. Quickly, before he made any commitments and dragged me into it with him.

He called me a AH for divorcing over kids. For abandoning him when he needed me.

I told him he knew my boundaries well in advance and this was a commitment (children) that he is unilaterally deciding on.


This is not relevant but it is increasingly annoying when 1 out of 5 comments are telling me about wedding vows. We did not do traditional wedding vows. We do not believe in till death do us part. Our vows did include not having children. Our vow was to stay together till staying apart made us happier than staying together will. Staying in a toxic relationship where you hate each others guts just because you made a vow was never appealing to us.

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