My husband bought candy corn at the grocery store. Does anybody know if you can return husbands?
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Me, when husband play cards on his iPhone: “I don’t know why he wastes so much time on that stupid phone.”
Also Me: *wastes 2 hours watching YouTube clips of wild turkeys attacking mail carriers*
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[cleaning out the fridge]
me: I’ll throw this hummus away
wife: what’s the expiration?
me: August 5..
wife: that’s not too bad
me: ..2019
wife: wtf
See all
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/funniest-marriage-tweets-july-21-august-3_l_5f284c30c5b68fbfc8866fc6